I think scott just propositioned me for sex
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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