Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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