I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
