I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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