Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
