O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
