I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
