just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
