So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that's an acceptable place to lick
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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