im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So much Jack, so little girl.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
