Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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