I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
