Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
