my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
