i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
