I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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