If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
