He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The power of my boobs compel you
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
