She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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