one might say we're banned from that church
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
