Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
