FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
