ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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