did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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