He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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