So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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