I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
