I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
