atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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