Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
