If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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