Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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