Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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