One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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