Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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