So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
