And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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