Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
