More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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