Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
