We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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