You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
