Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
