Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
