butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
