I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
