it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
