So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
