as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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