hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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