mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
