At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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