i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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