No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
