screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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