real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
