the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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