Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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