like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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