told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
