Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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