just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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