What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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