Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
