So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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