hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize