sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
