Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
