You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
