If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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